Collision of Grief and Gratitude
Tired is good when your heart is full. I smile and laugh a little more these days, but I carry my grief daily from the loss of my boy, Christopher. The tears surface a little easier in the tired but so does the gratitude.
The Close of a Chapter
We pulled into Lubbock late on a Friday night after driving for ten hours. We were anxious to get to Denver for the birth of our grandson, but knew from experience your hospitality and attention to detail would provide us with a great meal and a restful nights sleep so we could continue on our journey refreshed.
I sat taking it all in in the space you provided off the lobby full of comfortable chairs and smiling waiters/waitresses. Surrounded by beautiful dark wood walls and floor to ceiling windows overlooking a patio that welcomed your guests to join you around the fire and sip on a beverage, grief rose and tears began to fall.
Triggers reminding me of the hopes and dreams and anticipation of this day…
Buckets Full Of Grace
With tears streaming down my face, I heard myself say “I am just going to have to ask you for some grace.”
Grace: A spontaneous, generous, free and totally unexpected and undeserved gift that takes the form of divine favor, love, clemency.
Pasta
I messaged my sweet friend Ms. Wesley and asked how she was doing. She knew exactly what I meant. I wasn’t looking for platitudes or “I’m fine”. She knew I truly wanted to know how she was handling the days, the minutes, the silence, the loss. See, she lost someone she loves very much and has been walking though her own complicated grief.
Her response resonated with me….
Broken and Hurting Does Not Equal Contagious
I walked into juvenile court today. My heart heavy, yet full of hope. Young boys shackled together by chains around their wrist and ankles. All of them dressed in matching jumpsuits, their faces full of fear and hurt.
Grief and Joy
We often find ourselves holding our breath as we walk through grief. We wonder where God is in the midst of our pain and hurt.
Dear Yellowstone,
Sprinkles of Tiny Miracles
We headed into the new year like most, with great anticipation of new beginnings, do overs, start overs. 2021 unfolded with a bang and then the wave threw us back into the desert of loss and heartache.
We had walked through this desert frequently over the past ten years. We knew the heat would feel intense and life would feel parched for a while. Then, all of a sudden…
These Dry Bones
Do you ever feel like you walked into the valley of daily life and struggles and the heat feels as if it is burning your flesh off? The heat of hurt, rejection, fear, loneliness, job loss, financial burdens, broken marriage, loss of hope? Do you feel that if you don’t get relief soon you will just be a mere skeleton of yourself...all your flesh stripped off?
My World Went Dark…
In Memory Of The First Son To Ever Hear My Heartbeat
Christopher Parrish Barrow
The day you were born was filled with hope and joy. Hope for my future at the young age of 18 and hope for yours.
My world went dark March 21, 2016.
I can feel the anxiety and panic in the air as it rises up in my body. I vacillated between knowing something was terribly wrong and hope.
I ache to hold you. My tears still spill unexpectedly.
When A Goat Crosses Your Path
Until the return of Christ there will be goats in our life that will try to cause division and destruction. When betrayal and hurt comes, don’t forget that YOU ARE A SHEEP, saved by God’s amazing grace, and when the the Lord separates the goats from the sheep, you WILL inherit the kingdom prepared for you.
Broken People Hurt People
I found myself standing in the middle of my living room with tears streaming down my face. The reality of living life here in a broken world is that broken people hurt people. We may not see or understand God’s ways, but leaning into His ways are always better for us than ours. He knows hearts that are healthy for us and hearts that are not.
Will There Be Joy Again?
The morning sun rose as I grabbed my coffee and headed upstairs to work on some of my non-profit commitments.
Little did I know that day would shatter everything I knew to be true.
With one phone call our life went from peace and joy to panic and grief. My momma’s heart knew I would never be the same.
Resolutions and Revelations
Resolutions and Revelations
WHAT IF MY VISION BOARD GOALS HAD STARTED OUT WITH MY VISION ON THE CROSS INSTEAD OF MYSELF AND MATERIAL GOALS?
