I Just Can’t Remember

When Christopher died it felt like part of my brain died with him.  I could not remember anything.  I couldn’t focus.  I couldn’t recall words or read.  I couldn’t pray.

The only thing I was proficient at was lament and tears.  Since the tears never stopped I didn’t even bother wiping them from my face.

I did things like put my keys in the fridge and frozen food in the pantry.  I looked for my reading glasses when they were on my face and my phone while I was talking on it.  Ten trips back into the house to get something I forgot, like to put on deodorant or brush my teeth in some cases, became my new normal when I had to leave to go somewhere.

I found myself moving from one piece of furniture to the next accomplishing nothing and forgetting what I got up for in the first place.  The next day was a repeat of the day before, if I possibly managed to get out of bed.

I sincerely thought I was going crazy.  Then this fear crept in.  Since I thought I was losing my mind, I worried I would lose my memories.  It was all I had left of Christopher and I was terrified of forgetting.

Good news friends…First of all, you are not going crazy.  You have what I like to call grief brain.  Second of all, I didn’t forget and neither will you.  In fact, those memories are more vivid than ever.

I love to share stories of my son with others and I love hearing stories others share with me.

Maybe you feel that way too!  I would love to hear from you.

Much love,

Chrissy

If you would like to share a story of your child with me email it to info@firsttouchfamily.org