Joy In The Mourning
A wail escapes that echos off the tile. This is my new normal.
These days I’m ok with the damp eyes, the slow roll of tears down my face, finding myself sobbing, a snotty heap laying in the middle of a cold, damp floor. My wails no longer startle my dogs or my family.
Weeping may come for the night friend but joy does comes in the mourning.
Buckets Full Of Grace
With tears streaming down my face, I heard myself say “I am just going to have to ask you for some grace.”
Grace: A spontaneous, generous, free and totally unexpected and undeserved gift that takes the form of divine favor, love, clemency.
Pasta
I messaged my sweet friend Ms. Wesley and asked how she was doing. She knew exactly what I meant. I wasn’t looking for platitudes or “I’m fine”. She knew I truly wanted to know how she was handling the days, the minutes, the silence, the loss. See, she lost someone she loves very much and has been walking though her own complicated grief.
Her response resonated with me….
Sprinkles of Tiny Miracles
We headed into the new year like most, with great anticipation of new beginnings, do overs, start overs. 2021 unfolded with a bang and then the wave threw us back into the desert of loss and heartache.
We had walked through this desert frequently over the past ten years. We knew the heat would feel intense and life would feel parched for a while. Then, all of a sudden…
Inhale and Rest Until You Can Fly
THE CALL…THE LOSS…of a child, of relationships, of a church, of a hope.
This journey, for me, has looked much like a tree that lost all of its blooms, leaves and branches when the first blast of a cold winter arrives and hangs around for a while. A broken tree trunk that has to be scraped in multiple places to find any green growth under the peeling bark.
Anguish that quietened the memories, dulled his scent and his touch, muted his laugh. I was so fearful I had lost it all, even the memories.