Reflections Of The Desert
I sat in the passenger seat as we left the red rocks of Sedona and snaked our way through the mountains that gave way to 108 degree temperatures creating mirages across the sparse, dry desert. We had no idea what to expect as we turned into Joshua Tree National Park but were anxiously excited to join our hiking guide Travis (https://wanderingmojave.com/, https://www.facebook.com/wanderingmojave) the next morning for a sunrise hike through the desert. Through our communication with him and his attention to detail we knew it was going to be a special experience. We had checked and rechecked our hiking gear and felt prepared; for what exactly, we did not know, but adventure we were sure of. (Be sure to look him up if you find yourself in the Mohave Desert.)
We drove through the park looking at all the beautiful plants and boulders scattered across the hot desert sand. When we exited Joshua Tree NP and drove into 29 Palms my excitement of exploring the beauty of the desert turned to self-doubt. I quickly began to wonder what kind of twilight zone we had entered. Blake and I began to laugh. I’m not sure if it was laughter at the comedy of our situation, or if we were just trying to cover the tinge of hysteria we were both feeling, but we continued on to the town of Joshua Tree. We stopped for a quick bite to eat before heading to our airbnb. We had been on the road for about 6.5 hrs at this point.
The drive to the airbnb did not ease my self doubt. There were ramshackle “homes” and decades old abandoned RV’s scattering the landscape with no consideration given to asthetics. It was obvious there were no home owners associations in Joshua Tree. We neared our destination and to our surprise was the quaint airstream Wonderlust we rented and it looked like the pictures. BONUS! https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/44403770?source_impression_id=p3_1629054328_vwfYZgEKvZ5AnZt0&guests=1&adults=1
If you know me, you know I love using airbnb and do extensive research on location and reviews when I rent. I have only had one instance in which I was disappointed because the home had a strong odor of mold. I had been worried since 29 Palms that this might possibly be my second disappointment. It was not.
Hammocks welcomed us as we parked our car and began to unload our bags. We walked around to the front porch covered in bamboo and to our sheer delight there was not a detail left unnoticed. All my self doubt melted away. The lounge chairs, oversized beanbag, hand woven swing, soaking tub, fire pit and hot tub beckoned us to relax and unwind. The outdoor table that could comfortably seat 8-10 people was uniquely designed allowing guest to sit on the deck or in chairs to dine. There was an outdoor shower I was anxious to use to wash away the heat and travel from the day. We unlocked the door and entered the cool interior. We were greeted by the smell of the lemon scent cleaner, cute throw pillows, luxury towels, turkish bath towels for the outdoor shower, a nespresso machine, a fully stocked kitchen, and a very comfy bed. The customer service from Daniel was impeccable!
Our exhaustion began to overtake our bodies. Without even flipping on a light switch we dropped our bags and wandered back out to the lounge chairs to enjoy the desert as the temperatures began to drop and evening gave way to night. Only moving long enough to reposition ourselves in the hammocks to watch the stars emerge from the night sky. The hammocks swung us gently as the breeze moved across the desert. The relaxing sound of the small bushes rustled, attempting to lull us to sleep.
We quickly realized we were in no way up for a sunrise hike in the morning. Through my healing journey I have learned that listening to my body when it needs rest is just as important as moving my body. I sent Travis a message and in his graciousness he offered to meet us later. Little did I know those well laid plans and intentions would be interrupted by a meeting I did not realize I needed.
We woke early the next morning after a restful sleep in the cool interior of our rented airstream. Without bothering to get out of our pj’s we grabbed our bibles and headed back out to the lounge chairs. The quickly changing colors of the sunrise lighting the shadows of the mountain range in the distance and waking the lizards from their slumber across the oasis of rock and cactus. I turned on my praise and worship music looked out across the desert and realized my spiritual life had become dry much like the desert. In my last blog (https://www.embracingthemess.com/blog/2021/8/14/fan-the-flame) I wrote a little more about that.
I had not been able to write for a while. When I felt God calling me to write after the death of my son, Christopher, I refused to put myself on a timeline. I write when I feel called by the Holy Spirit. I had not been able to hear the Holy Spirit lately because my spiritual life was full of boulders, cactus and desert sand. I heard God saying “you need more living water for the flowers to bloom in the desert.” I opened my bible and began to pray and repent.
I couldn’t help but think of the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years because of their lack of faith and disobedience. Having been greatly disappointed by life and people I had begun displacing that fear of disappointment on God. Everyone else had disappointed me. Others I loved deeply had hurt me through lies and deception. Why not God?
It was a lie of the devil I had latched on to and it was causing my spiritual life to look like a desert. If I was not careful to repent I could be wandering the desert instead of stepping into the promise land God has prepared for me. All day I wrote. I wrote and I prayed. I wrote and I prayed and I cried. Those tears that still come when my heart aches to hold my boy again. Those tears that fall with gratitude for a God that never leaves me wandering in the desert. I realized Jesus had met me in the desert with manna for the day and living water that flowed from the rocks.
I know in my heart that the sacredness and beauty of this desert will draw me back again. I don’t regret having canceled my sunrise hike but we fully intend to schedule another adventure through the desert with Travis when we return. Maybe a little cooler time of the year but who knows?
Until then, I hope to encourage you and remind myself to hold onto God promises. He will never leave us or forsake us. He will never disappoint us or deceive us. He will always work things out for our good even in the suck. He desires to give us good, good gifts.
He has prepared the promise land for us. We simply need to step out of our slavery to the lies of the devil and step into faith and obedience. He will supply all of our needs according to his riches and glory as we hike across the desert each step bringing us closer to the cross through our personal journey of sanctification.
Much Love,
Chrissy