Where The Christmas Crazy Started
This past week has been stressful. I got a late start anyway so that didn’t help. Well, and let’s be real, nothing is the same when we lose a child. Especially not the Holidays.
Then the reality hit. Christmas was only a week away. That is where the crazy started. Buying all the “things”, “did I do enough, did I do too much, did I forget someone or something? This is ridiculous. How do we balance the true meaning of Christmas with Santa expectations?”
Every dime spent has brought a mixture of emotions. I love watching my grandchildren and our children open their gifts at Christmas but then the reality that they lack for absolutely nothing rises to the surface. I shove the reality down and justify my spending as my thoughts sways back to “but I want to buy for them for Christmas.” “What a waste….what a joy.”
In addition, with the loss of Christopher shattering everything we knew to be true, I have struggled with finding moments and traditions that matter anymore. Traditions that our children and grandchildren cherish as much as we do. That has brought its own level of anxiety so I had to just walk away from that desire and expectation. I felt like the squeaky wheel so I oiled myself and quit squeaking. I just swipe and go these days.
I am ashamed to say all of these jumbled thoughts and anxiety have distracted me from looking outward and because of that I almost missed a “hands and feet” moment. The moments that actually feed my soul and keep my heart centered on the true meaning of Christmas. The moments I am generally intentional about, especially during the Holiday Season.
The quick check of my heart that reminds me that “to whom much is given, much is expected.” My kids and grandchildren will not go without this season but there are many families and kids who will.
Thank you Jesus for re-centering my heart and turning my eyes outward to see the opportunities to be the hands and feet this Christmas. Where our gifts actually point people back to the cross and away from self and things. Where our actions have the ability to give eternal gifts.
Where the meaning of Christmas is lived out of a manger rather than Target.
Friends, if you are struggling like I was with all the worldly expectation of Christmas, I want to encourage you to take a minute to look outward for the opportunity to give gifts that have an eternal impact.
I am reminding myself while I remind you, when the toys break or the kids have moved on to the next best things, that won’t be what they remember. It will be eternal things they remember. It will be what re-centers their hearts on the true meaning of Christmas.
Much love,
Chrissy