Anger…A Bitter Root
It was a bitter root that I allowed to settle in the recesses of my broken heart. ANGER, it was spilling out on others and shredding my testimony. OUCH!
I don’t know about you but even as I wrote that sentence I felt remorse and guilt for how many times I have let my anger spill out on those I love shredding trust and my relationships. Not only that but the love I so desired from Jesus was not what I was pouring into the people I love the most.
I knew it was a condition of my heart but at the time the anger was so much easier to deal with than the reason for my anger. I also knew it was not righteous anger but the kind of anger God warns us leads to sin and death. 💡Lightbulb💡...I had to deal with the underlying brokenness and hurt in order to spill over Jesus instead of anger. The truth is my heart laid shattered in a grave and my outburst of anger made me feel so alive, if only for a moment. Then the shame and guilt set in.
I wondered why my testimony of the saving grace of Jesus was so willing and giving to those on the outside and my anger was projected on one of my most cherished relationships. The truth is my husband and my marriage took the brunt of it. The loss, the deception, the hurt became a vortex that was slinging out destruction. I don’t know about you but the last person I wanted to hurt was my gentle, humble husband. He loves me so very well.
You may be thinking “I can’t believe she is sharing this with the world”. Sharing this does make me feel extremely vulnerable, so please be gentle with my heart. If this is you friend I would love to hear from you. I want to encourage you to step out with courage and get help from a professional. I know your heart doesn’t want to cause destruction but maybe you don’t know where to start. Maybe anger feels so much more comfortable than dealing with the underlying hurt that sparked the vortex.
Admitting you are struggling with anger and falling on your knees in full repentance before the throne of God is a good place to start. Humble yourself and ask forgiveness from those you have spewed your hurt all over. Seek professional help. Set your mind on loving those around you with the Christ like love you so desire. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal areas in your own life that anger may be causing destruction instead of edification and when he does, be willing to step into healing. I promise you will not be sorry you did.
Lord, we want to be more like you. Merciful and gracious. Slow to Anger. Abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Remind us that anger tends only to evil and leads us into sin. May the sun not set on our anger today. In Jesus name.
(Psalm 86:25; 37:8; Ephesians 4:26)
Much 💛,
Chrissy
Truths to meditate on...
A hot tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute. Proverbs 15:18
Do not be quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31
For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self willed, not quick tempered, not addicted to win, not pugnacious, not fond of sorid gain. Titus 1:7
Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed (by our anger) for his compassion never fails. Lamentations 3:22
The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and fourth generations. Numbers 14:18